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to get fresh fries at any fast food place, ask for no salt
don't buy new ink cartridges, take old ones to Costco and get them filled for only $10
if you ever go to a zoo, wear the same colors as the employees do.  The animals will come right to you instead of backing away
you can clear a room full of cigarette smoke in about a minute by spinning a wet towel around
need therapy? vent here for free :) http://blahtherapy.com/
fold your receipt around the gift card to always know your balance
***not sure of this still works*** BUT if you have a .edu email address, you can get an amazon prime account. this lets you watch almost unlimited TV/Movies
by peeing in the shower, you can save over 1100 gallons of water by not flushing :)
spam texts bothering you? forward them to 7726, your carrier will reply asking for the number it came from to help stop spam
toothpaste removes ink from your clothes. apply it to the stain, let it dry then wash it